Good Bye Just Means There Will Be Another Hello
As I talked about in class one day, coming to Santa Clara was anything but an adventure for me. It was like high school all over again. Two of my best friends are here. I am surrounded by the same Jesuit teachings. There is no culture shock, no challenge, no city for me to explore. Don't get me wrong though, I love it here, but something was missing. No matter how much I tried to convince myself that I was in the right place, I never really believed it. I seriously thought about transferring. I looked for schools with Civil Engineering programs that would accept Santa Clara Credit and looked at the information about transferring. What would I need to do to get in? What paper work did I need? ect. (Until I posted this blog Maddie is the only one who I ever talked to about this. My parents have access to my blog, so I bet they are quite shocked to hear this.) I felt trapped in a SCU bubble. It was like college was too good to be true and I wasn't really living.
This now this bring me to the question, "What did I get out of this class?". I found my place at Santa Clara. I found that I am meant to be a leader here. I am meant to work with my peers towards something I am passionate about. I am meant to create meaningful relationships the he people around me. Before this class I felt like I was just going through the motions. Every day was the same and I going crazy. I didn't know where I fit into the community here. Now however, I know who I am. From the MBTI test, the values activities, though interacting with each one of you, I know my strengths, my weaknesses, myself, better than I could ever imagine. I have realized that the relationships I make though helping and working with others are what I value the most. I have learned to accept my weaknesses and ask for help. I have learned to embrace my strengths AND weaknesses, because they make me who I am. I have leaned that I love help others learn and seeing them succeeded. With knowing myself, I have become more confident in who I am. I have broken out of my shell. I am an introvert yes, but I love being around people. It just takes time for me to be comfortable around strangers. The confidence I built up in this class makes it is easier for me to be the crazy, out going, people person, Leah that my family and closest friends know. You guys are the reason I am meant to be at Santa Clara. You have inspired me to be involved in the community here and to lead more fully in hopes of giving everyone else the experience I have had here so far.
Part of finding my place here has come though being honored with being CF in graham next year. I can't even begin to explain my excitement for this. I can't wait to go though formation and see what they mean by "we want someone who can become a CF". I want to reach my full potential as a leader and pass on my passion for leading to freshman next year. I want to learn how to motivate others. I want to learn to help other students become confident in themselves and find their place at SCU. I want to learn to push myself and groups I work with outside of our comfort zone. I want to learn to be a leader in all situations, not just ones I am comfortable in.
We met literally on our first day at SCU and since then I think it's safe to say we've been friends. That being said, I had no idea you were thinking about transferring. Just goes to show how there's always something new to learn about someone. I wrote in my blogpost that through this class and these blogs I've learned a lot about myself. However, after reading your post and reflecting on all the other posts I've read I've come to realize I learned a ton about others as well. These are things I probably wouldn't have learned just by being friends with you and the others in this class. Something about our group and the class allowed people to be very open in these blogposts and I love it.
ReplyDeleteI can totally empathize with this situation. At varying times throughout the quarter, I too was debating whether I might want to transfer, albeit for completely different reasons. For me, it all seemed too new, too fresh, too different. I couldn't deal with being away from the place that I love and still love more than anywhere else in the world--Spokane. Most of all, I couldn't figure out where my "people" were, especially as someone who for the most part doesn't relate to Santa Clara's obsessive Wednesday/Friday/Saturday party scene. I longed for the type of "community" that existed at my high school and which I know exists at other schools to which I applied.
ReplyDeleteBut this class, combined with CLC and a few other things, have really made the end of this quarter quite a contrast from the beginning and middle. They've given me hope and a renewed will to continue. Maybe there is a "Santa Clara community" after all. This could be it. Maybe this is why I'm pushing for "ELP reunion"-style events (i.e. ropes course and Relay for Life) and whatnot. I don't at all want it to end, because I know I'm going to miss it incredibly. Either way, I have been so blessed to have had this experience, and it's so great having you and Maddie in CLC to discuss these things. So thanks for that--and any time you need to talk, don't hesitate. We're here for you.
Indeed, the best is yet to come.
It's been amazing meeting you and sharing the ELP experience with you. I agree this class does allow you to recognize you strengths and weaknesses, which better build you as a person and a leader. Again congratulation getting the CF position, I know you will be fantastic. As an introvert, we are never forever shy. Let your voice be heard and never be afraid to teach others so they can succeed.
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