Good Bye Just Means There Will Be Another Hello

As I talked about in class one day, coming to Santa Clara was anything but an adventure for me. It was like high school all over again. Two of my best friends are here. I am surrounded by the same Jesuit teachings. There is no culture shock, no challenge, no city for me to explore. Don't get me wrong though, I love it here, but something was missing. No matter how much I tried to convince myself that I was in the right place, I never really believed it. I seriously thought about transferring. I looked for schools with Civil Engineering programs that would accept Santa Clara Credit and looked at the information about transferring. What would I need to do to get in? What paper work did I need? ect.  (Until I posted this blog Maddie is the only one who I ever talked to about this. My parents have access to my blog, so I bet they are quite shocked to hear this.) I felt trapped in a SCU bubble. It was like college was too good to be true and I wasn't really living. 

This now this bring me to the question, "What did I get out of this class?". I found my place at Santa Clara. I found that I am meant to be a leader here. I am meant to work with my peers towards something I am passionate about. I am meant to create meaningful relationships the he people around me. Before this class I felt like I was just going through the motions. Every day was the same and I going crazy. I didn't know where I fit into the community here. Now however, I know who I am. From the MBTI test, the values activities, though interacting with each one of you, I know my strengths, my weaknesses, myself, better than I could ever imagine. I have realized that the relationships I make though helping and working with others are what I value the most. I have learned to accept my weaknesses and ask for help. I have learned to embrace my strengths AND weaknesses, because they make me who I am. I have leaned that I love help others learn and seeing them succeeded. With knowing myself, I have become more confident in who I am. I have broken out of my shell. I am an introvert yes, but I love being around people. It just takes time for me to be comfortable around strangers. The confidence I built up in this class makes it is easier for me to be the crazy, out going, people person, Leah that my family and closest friends know. You guys are the reason I am meant to be at Santa Clara. You have inspired me to be involved in the community here and to lead more fully in hopes of giving everyone else the experience I have had here so far. 

Part of finding my place here has come though being honored with being CF in graham next year. I can't even begin to explain my excitement for this. I can't wait to go though formation and see what they mean by "we want someone who can become a CF". I want to reach my full potential as a leader and pass on my passion for leading to freshman next year. I want to learn how to motivate others. I want to learn to help other students become confident in themselves and find their place at SCU. I want to learn to push myself and groups I work with outside of our comfort zone. I want to learn to be a leader in all situations, not just ones I am comfortable in. 

Stages of Group Development

The video clip that is missing is the first stage, and like many other people I have chosen a clip from a Disney movie. The Lion King is a movie that is very close to my heart. My parents like to tell the story that is was the first movie they saw in theaters after I was born and that they both started crying during the song circle of life at the beginning of the movie. I grew up watching all the time and knowing the words to all the songs.

This shows every aspect of stage 1. Even though it is not a whole group of people Simba displays every characteristic of a newly formed group. Simba is destined to be King and as the words say he “just can’t wait” showing the excitement and anticipation he is feeling. Just like a group finds their reason for existence, he knows his purpose in life is to be a leader and that he must eventually replace his father as King. The most obvious stage one characteristic shown here is self-oriented. As of right now, he would not be a good King. He only things about what he wants and what is best for himself (like ditching Zazu to go to a grave yard). Throughout the song, he tests Zazu. Simba tries to fire him and then tries to get Zazu to agree to various things and tests the limits of what Zazu will let him do. , and like many other people I have choen a clip from a Disney movie. The Lion King is a movie that is very close to my heart. My parents like to tell the story that is was the first movie they saw in theaters after I was born and that they both started crying during the song circle of life at the beginning of the movie. I grew up watching all the time and knowing the words to all the songs.

The other Video clips match up with...... 

Stage 2: Attitude Reflects Leadership

Stage 3: Coach Carter

Stage 4:  Finding nemo

Stage 5: Your Free

COMMUNICATION

I think that effective communication comes mostly from practice. I know that over the years I have learned at lot from watching other people and though my own failures to communicate effectively. As much as you can read about how to be a good communicator the only way to really become one is though practice. Each person is going to have different strengths and weaknesses which will influence how they best communicate with other people. The following are my preferences when it comes to communicating and what works with my personality.

Top 5 Methods of Communication with an Individual
1.  Especially now that I'm in college, I have realized the value of face to face communication. Though being around people all the time, I have found that it is often the most successful too communicate with them in this way.  It helps avoid miss understandings that can happen over text, email or facebook chat, and when you talk to some one in person you know they receive the information. 

2.Going off of face to face communication, eye contact is supper important. IT SHOWS PEOPLE THAT YOU CARE and that they should care too.         

3. LISTEN! Listening is key. You need to be able to answer their questions, clarify things they don't understand ect. Also, just talking at someone the whole time is not an effective way to community and give information. They will get bored and stop paying attention. 

4. Use good body language. There are two parts to this. First, hand gestures and facial expression help tremendously when talking. A large part of communication is non-verbal communication. Secondly, show you are listening with how you hold yourself. This will show you care and encourage a mutual respect between you and the person you are communicating with. 


5. Repeat things that they are saying to you back to them so that you know you have them right. If your facts are wrong then they can fix them. This works both ways! Ask them to tell you their understanding of what you told them so you can correct any misunderstandings as well. 


Top 5 Methods of Communication with a Group
1. "Repetition is the hallmark of a jesuit education"-- I don't know how many time I heard that in high school, but its true. The best way to get your point across to a group of people is to repeat it as many times as possible. There are always gonna be some people who are not paying attention or who wont remember what ever it is you want them to know. The more times you repeat it the more people are going to remember. 

2. Write stuff down!! As a swimmer, I know from experience that its a million times easier to remember what you are supposed to be doing when it is written down. This way the group can also look at it and be reminded incase they forget or aren't paying attention. This also helps the visual learners A LOT. 

3. Give one instruction at a time or once piece of information at a time. With a lot of people too many instructions at a time creates chaos and improves the likely hood that more people don't know what they are supposed to be doing. 

4. Don't talk when other people are talking or when people aren't listening. These actions by people in the group distract others so that more and more people will not be listening to you when trying to get across important information. 

5. Ask for questions!!! This way, incase your explanation wasn't clear or people missed information it can be clarified. 

This I Believe.....


When I was little, I was that kid who would run away from my parents. The kid who when I learned to walk had to much confidence in myself, tripped and needed stitches. I was that kid who wanted to be part of every sport and be part of every club. I thrive in large groups of people where no one knows each other. I get tired of being around the same people all the time. I'm hardly ever at home or in my room. I have for as long as I can remember known that the two things I wanted in a college were 1. being able to study abroad and 2. getting as far from home as possible. That is why everyone was stunned when I chose to come to Santa Clara. 

If you don't know me at all you would say I've had it made coming to college. Two of my best friend from high school came with me and I am getting along with then now better than ever before. I made the best group of friends I could ever ask for in the first week of school and since then my friends have just continued to multiply. I can always find someone to hang out with or eat with, and I'm hardly ever alone. I get pretty good grades, and I love my classes as much as someone can love school. For the most part, I know what I want to do with my life. I have found a place on the swim team, in dorm life and in campus ministry. I have found people to look up to and people who inspire me. 

What could be missing? It took me a long time to answer that question. When anyone asks me how I like college I say "I LOVE IT", which I truly do. I can't name one thing that I don't like about Santa Clara. I realize I am extremely fortunate for the easy transition and opportunity to come to go to school here. BUT, I am not happy. Well, thats not completely true.  Its kind of hard to describe. Its like I'm living in a dream. In a bubble that nothing bad can touch me. Its like I don't feel anything bad, but at the same time I don't feel anything good either. Its like I'm walking on a never ending straight path with no obstacles. 

Now, let me tell you what's missing. Adventure. I am the college student who wishes she was somewhere else. I am the college student who sees to many people from home on a daily basis. The college student who feels trapped in the bubble that is the Santa Clara campus. I am restless. I am ready to stop the weekly routine and find something new and interesting to explore. I feel like I fit perfecting inside of the box that is Santa Clara, but my heart is being pulled to grow. 

I believe life with out adventure is pointless. Yeah that's a pretty extreme statement, but its true. In order to truly live your life you must break the routine of day to day activities with adventure. It doesn't have to something drastic like back packing in Europe. I can be something simple like going on a walk with out a destination. But, Adventure in necessary to live. 


Another's Beliefs..... 
http://thisibelieve.org/essay/54689/ 

Death Makes Life Important

“When is Dad getting back” my father asked his mother when he was only sixteen years old. Just then the phone rang. As soon as my grandmother hung up the phone she began to cry. After she told her three children they began to cry as well. They just found out that their father had just died in a plane crash. This one event has caused me to believe that the reason for death is to make life important.

I believe in this because without death we would not get the full meaning of life. Without death war would be pointless. Death is existent so that people can know their own limitations. Without the fear of death there would be no meaning to life. Without death life would be dull because there would not be risks for anyone to take.

In a recent survey when asked if people would like to know the day they would die 98% of these people said that they would not like to know. I always thought that I would want to be in the other 2%. That is until people that I started to love began to die. Everyone would know when one o our family members was close to death but it is still a shock when it actually happens.

Death is such an unexpected thing that everyone needs to cherish every moment that they have with a person because you will never know when the last time you will have with person will be. I know that my dad regrets his last moment with is dad because they were in a fight when he left on his plane trip. And because his body was to messed up to be at the funeral my dad never saw him again and I know that he regrets it to this day.

I do not necessarily fear death it is just the surprise of death that frightens me the most. But it is your belief of death that defines who you are. If you always fear death then you will never get the most out of life because you will not take chances. But if you just accept the fact that everyone will eventually die then you can get the most out of your time on Earth. I do not understand why people fear death. I don’t claim to be a very religious man but in most religious holy books if you have lived a good life then you shall go to a place that is far better then Earth.

I have always been curious about the grandfather I never met. But since then my grandmother has remarried to a wonderful man that I consider a perfect member of our family. When I ask my dad about his father he will always tell me that he was one of the best men that he ever knew and that him and I would have gotten along very well together. But when I have been alive the only grandfather I have known has been my father’s step dad. He understands that he can’t replace my biological grandfather but he still fits in with my family all the same. With him being a new addition to the family our family has only gotten stronger.

I believe that death exists to make life worth living. Without the fear of death nothing would be a risk. Without death we would not get the full meaning of life. Without death we would not get to meet people that could help you or your family out in such an influential way. All I know is that my family and I are deeply saddened that my grandfather passed away at an early age but I also believe that god sent me the best step-grandfather that anyone could ask for and that all of this happened for a reason. This I believe.

         One of my greatest fears is death. I do not fear my own death, but I fear other people in my life will die.  Over the 5 years, my grandma's health has been slowly diminishing and the last 2 hear heath problems became even more serious. The summer before my senior year of high school she had to have a valve in her heart replaced. She was in and out of the hospital for 6 months. Anything from low blood pressure, to falling, to light headedness. I spent that summer and my senior year waiting for a call that would tell me she was dead. Even now, a year later, I have had mulitiple conversation with my parents about what happens when she dies. Will I come home? Will I be able to cope while focusing on school? Just thinking about the inevitable brings tears to my eyes. 
      "I believe that death makes life worth living." When I read the title the first time it intrigued me because I didn't understand it. How could death be seen as positive in anyway? But his point is not that dying is the reason to live. It is much deeper than that. It is the reason to live life to the fullest. To live everyday as if it is your last. It makes risks worth taking, adventure worth having, and feelings worth sharing. We all have a limited amount of time and yes time is very valuable. We never know what is around the next corner or what change will come into our lives. I guess yes its okay for me to be afraid. But I can't let that fear keep me from living. It all sounds so cliché, but it is also true. 
      Death of course still scares me like nothing else can, but I can not let that fear stop me from embracing every moment I have with people, especially my grandma. When she was at her worst, I think that I subconsciously started to distance myself from her. It was very hard to spend time with her as her mental state was effected by her medicines. I feared not only her death, but my reaction to it. Now that her health has improved tremendously, I talk to her about once a week. After reading Thomas's "this i believe", I need to make sure I always keep that up. I do not want to regret anything when it is too late. 

The Setup
I have never been an English person. I've never enjoyed reading. I have awful spelling and grammar, and I can never put what I am thinking eloquently. In 3rd grade, I was diagnosed with a minor case of dyslexia. At the time it didn't mean much too me other than not being good at writing, reading or spelling, but as I got older I became increasingly more frustrated with my little mistakes on tests and inability to express myself on paper. 

The What 

By eighth grade everyone knew me as a bad speller. Every week we had spelling tests and it became a class joke to find out what I had gotten. Even the teacher would make fun of me. The first couple times it didn’t bother me, but when it became a weakly thing it started to make me feel like I was inferior to very one else.  It got to the point that almost every week I was on the verge of tears when people would bring up my score. I didn’t tell anyone about it until years later. 

When went to high school I saw an opportunity to hide my dyslexia. Only 2 people from my middle school came with me and I hardly knew anyone. From the first day of school I hid it as well as I could. Over the years I had found way to avoid things that may show it. I wouldn’t write for group assignments. I relied heavily on google and spell check, and I when we read out loud as a class I would try to figure out what section I would read so I could practice before it got to me.

I didn’t only hide it from my classmates but I also hid it from my family, especially my dad.  My younger sister has been better speller and faster reader than me for a long time, and my dad has never understood how I can’t sound things out and “just remember how to spell them” like he does.  When I asked him now to spell a word he would just say “sound it out” and if I put a wrong letter in he will say “why did you put that in there, it doesn’t make any sense”. The worst though was when I would do homework my dad will come look over my shoulder and say “that shouldn’t be taking you this long”. He had no idea how much his comments hurt.

The So What 

Other people’s remarks only made my self esteem worse. My mom went to Stanford, my dad was the first person in his family to go to college having to pay his own and my grandpa has a PhD in Chemistry. Extremely smart people raised me. My friends were nearly all straight A students, and for some of my time in school I was too. I was very motivated to do well because I felt like a failure to my parents if I didn't. Often though I felt stupid compared to my class mates. I spent multiple nights crying to my mom because I wanted to give up. Internally I would fight with myself about if spending the time to do an assignment well was worth it, if all of my hard work would pay off. Should I just give up? What if I don't live up to my parents exceptions? If I'm not going to succeed what is the point in trying? Am actually stupid and am I just using dyslexia as an excuse? To this day I still sometimes think these things. 

The Now What 
Though struggling with dyslexia I have learned more about myself and how to be successful than I could have ever predicted. Primarily I learned hard work and perseverance. First, I had to accept that not all things would come naturally to me compared to some of my friends. I would HAVE to put in the work and the hard work would pay off. A lot of the time it was hard and I would come close to giving up. I think it is almost magic that I am always able to finish homework. This leads me to my next point, perseverance. I hate giving up on things. If I start something challenging I WILL finish it not matter what. I see giving up as failure. The last and probably hardest lesson I learned is that It is okay to ask for help. I hated asking people for help because I saw it as a weakness, but asking for help is one of the best things I have learned to do for myself. It encourages communication with my family, friends and teachers, so they know what I stuggle with.