This I Believe.....


When I was little, I was that kid who would run away from my parents. The kid who when I learned to walk had to much confidence in myself, tripped and needed stitches. I was that kid who wanted to be part of every sport and be part of every club. I thrive in large groups of people where no one knows each other. I get tired of being around the same people all the time. I'm hardly ever at home or in my room. I have for as long as I can remember known that the two things I wanted in a college were 1. being able to study abroad and 2. getting as far from home as possible. That is why everyone was stunned when I chose to come to Santa Clara. 

If you don't know me at all you would say I've had it made coming to college. Two of my best friend from high school came with me and I am getting along with then now better than ever before. I made the best group of friends I could ever ask for in the first week of school and since then my friends have just continued to multiply. I can always find someone to hang out with or eat with, and I'm hardly ever alone. I get pretty good grades, and I love my classes as much as someone can love school. For the most part, I know what I want to do with my life. I have found a place on the swim team, in dorm life and in campus ministry. I have found people to look up to and people who inspire me. 

What could be missing? It took me a long time to answer that question. When anyone asks me how I like college I say "I LOVE IT", which I truly do. I can't name one thing that I don't like about Santa Clara. I realize I am extremely fortunate for the easy transition and opportunity to come to go to school here. BUT, I am not happy. Well, thats not completely true.  Its kind of hard to describe. Its like I'm living in a dream. In a bubble that nothing bad can touch me. Its like I don't feel anything bad, but at the same time I don't feel anything good either. Its like I'm walking on a never ending straight path with no obstacles. 

Now, let me tell you what's missing. Adventure. I am the college student who wishes she was somewhere else. I am the college student who sees to many people from home on a daily basis. The college student who feels trapped in the bubble that is the Santa Clara campus. I am restless. I am ready to stop the weekly routine and find something new and interesting to explore. I feel like I fit perfecting inside of the box that is Santa Clara, but my heart is being pulled to grow. 

I believe life with out adventure is pointless. Yeah that's a pretty extreme statement, but its true. In order to truly live your life you must break the routine of day to day activities with adventure. It doesn't have to something drastic like back packing in Europe. I can be something simple like going on a walk with out a destination. But, Adventure in necessary to live. 


Another's Beliefs..... 
http://thisibelieve.org/essay/54689/ 

Death Makes Life Important

“When is Dad getting back” my father asked his mother when he was only sixteen years old. Just then the phone rang. As soon as my grandmother hung up the phone she began to cry. After she told her three children they began to cry as well. They just found out that their father had just died in a plane crash. This one event has caused me to believe that the reason for death is to make life important.

I believe in this because without death we would not get the full meaning of life. Without death war would be pointless. Death is existent so that people can know their own limitations. Without the fear of death there would be no meaning to life. Without death life would be dull because there would not be risks for anyone to take.

In a recent survey when asked if people would like to know the day they would die 98% of these people said that they would not like to know. I always thought that I would want to be in the other 2%. That is until people that I started to love began to die. Everyone would know when one o our family members was close to death but it is still a shock when it actually happens.

Death is such an unexpected thing that everyone needs to cherish every moment that they have with a person because you will never know when the last time you will have with person will be. I know that my dad regrets his last moment with is dad because they were in a fight when he left on his plane trip. And because his body was to messed up to be at the funeral my dad never saw him again and I know that he regrets it to this day.

I do not necessarily fear death it is just the surprise of death that frightens me the most. But it is your belief of death that defines who you are. If you always fear death then you will never get the most out of life because you will not take chances. But if you just accept the fact that everyone will eventually die then you can get the most out of your time on Earth. I do not understand why people fear death. I don’t claim to be a very religious man but in most religious holy books if you have lived a good life then you shall go to a place that is far better then Earth.

I have always been curious about the grandfather I never met. But since then my grandmother has remarried to a wonderful man that I consider a perfect member of our family. When I ask my dad about his father he will always tell me that he was one of the best men that he ever knew and that him and I would have gotten along very well together. But when I have been alive the only grandfather I have known has been my father’s step dad. He understands that he can’t replace my biological grandfather but he still fits in with my family all the same. With him being a new addition to the family our family has only gotten stronger.

I believe that death exists to make life worth living. Without the fear of death nothing would be a risk. Without death we would not get the full meaning of life. Without death we would not get to meet people that could help you or your family out in such an influential way. All I know is that my family and I are deeply saddened that my grandfather passed away at an early age but I also believe that god sent me the best step-grandfather that anyone could ask for and that all of this happened for a reason. This I believe.

         One of my greatest fears is death. I do not fear my own death, but I fear other people in my life will die.  Over the 5 years, my grandma's health has been slowly diminishing and the last 2 hear heath problems became even more serious. The summer before my senior year of high school she had to have a valve in her heart replaced. She was in and out of the hospital for 6 months. Anything from low blood pressure, to falling, to light headedness. I spent that summer and my senior year waiting for a call that would tell me she was dead. Even now, a year later, I have had mulitiple conversation with my parents about what happens when she dies. Will I come home? Will I be able to cope while focusing on school? Just thinking about the inevitable brings tears to my eyes. 
      "I believe that death makes life worth living." When I read the title the first time it intrigued me because I didn't understand it. How could death be seen as positive in anyway? But his point is not that dying is the reason to live. It is much deeper than that. It is the reason to live life to the fullest. To live everyday as if it is your last. It makes risks worth taking, adventure worth having, and feelings worth sharing. We all have a limited amount of time and yes time is very valuable. We never know what is around the next corner or what change will come into our lives. I guess yes its okay for me to be afraid. But I can't let that fear keep me from living. It all sounds so cliché, but it is also true. 
      Death of course still scares me like nothing else can, but I can not let that fear stop me from embracing every moment I have with people, especially my grandma. When she was at her worst, I think that I subconsciously started to distance myself from her. It was very hard to spend time with her as her mental state was effected by her medicines. I feared not only her death, but my reaction to it. Now that her health has improved tremendously, I talk to her about once a week. After reading Thomas's "this i believe", I need to make sure I always keep that up. I do not want to regret anything when it is too late.